How can I start fixing my life when I have low self-esteem issues?
Obama retired at 55, Trump started at 70. Sydney is 3 hours ahead of Perth, but that doesn't make Perth slow. Someone graduated at the age of 22, but waited 5 years before securing a good job. Someone became a CEO at 25 and died at 50. While another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years. Someone is still single, while someone else got married. Everyone in this world works based on their time zone. People around you might seem to be ahead of you and some might seem to be behind you. But everyone is running their own race, in their own time.
First step: Keep the above in mind
Second step: There are four stage of learning, which apply here, first of the four stages are:
Unconscious Incompetence - unaware of skill and lack proficiency
Conscious Incompetence - aware of skill and not proficient
Conscious Competence - can use skill with effort
Unconscious Competence - skill becomes automatic
Why did I mention these four stages - To congratulate you. Well done. You are at the 2nd stage. You are aware of the change.
Third Step: Focus on the areas you want to improve. Take on one at a time, one step at the time. One step at the time. (that was not a typo, too many people rush to fix everything all at once
The areas that you listed you’d like to work on are:
a) Low self-esteem
b) Career path
d) Social support
Where to start?
Here are some ideas - bear in mind this is not an exhaustive list but has worked for me:
Exercise (Low self-esteem+Social support): Sounds obvious, but the benefits are amazing. We are supposed to people that move. (And this doesn’t have to be spending money at the gym). You can easily find so many bodyweight workouts on the internet (darebee dot com for example) or find a buddy or group to join on meetup can be useful & all are free.
Reading: (Low Self-Esteem + Career Path): Great book to build habits is Atomic Habits by James Clear. Absolutely fantastic, after all you are going to be building habits, not just the reading and exercise habit, but the habit of learning something you like. Don’t know what you like. That’s ok. Most people don’t. They have something they have a mild interest in and then as they work in that field, they tend to love it.* (It rarely works the other way around, despite when people say “they were born to do it”)
Internal (Low Self Esteem): Find a modality that you can use that can quieten the inner chatter in your mind, whether it be hypnosis, deep breathing or changing the limiting beliefs (the latter is what I do for a living).
Money: Money is a by-product of the other things we do. Work on the above and the rest will flow.
Health/Food: This will come as a by-product of exercise, but as you exercise, you will want to eat better. No you don’t have to go raw food vegan keto, with intermittent fasting. You don’t need to change everything, just one thing.
I hope you’ve found this useful and remember a step at a time.
And you can make it easy for yourself.
Drink 2 beers a night, change it to 1 a night.
Watch 2hrs of netflix everyday, change it to 1 hour
Have fun, enjoy yourself!!
You got it!! :)
Until next time,
*Check out the book by Cal Newport: So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love